You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize