Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
