using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
