Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
