Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
