She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
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