My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
