so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
