We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
