I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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