he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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