I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
