we have pet lesbian snakes
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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