I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Randomize
