You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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