But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Randomize
