If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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