Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
operation harelip BJ is a go
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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