hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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