id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
