I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Randomize
