How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
i need an iv and a liver transplant
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Randomize
