Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I got inside last night via doggy door
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
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