Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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