Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize
