susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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