They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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