If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
