those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
you win again, gameday.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
