Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize
