Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
