My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Randomize
