yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
where are you?
Hypothermia
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
