Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
