worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
