Will you blow on my dice?
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
