My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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