Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
