I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
