Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
