What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
