i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I think people are normalizing furries
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
