why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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