so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
