I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
