Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
