I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
He kissed a someone with a penis
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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