Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
