So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
