I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
