omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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