She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
