i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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